There was once a time that my toddlers were sleeping through the night. In fact — they both slept from 7 pm to 6 am straight for almost a year.
Then … I don’t know what happened.
All I know is that the amount of times my toddlers come creeping into my room now in the middle of the night is reaching double digits.
Here’s the list of requests, just from last night:
1. 9:38 pm.
Roll up my pajama sleeves.
2. 11:15 pm.
Roll my pajama sleeves back down.
3. 2 am.
Cook me waffles with “the balls.”
I finally figured out that “the balls,” according to my daughter, are the clumps of Parmesan cheese that are too large to be sprinkled out. I once took the top off an almost empty Parmesan cheese container and gave the remaining ball clumps to her. Now it’s all that she wants. Well, that with waffles at 2 am.
4. 2:10 am.
“I need fresh air, Mommy. Open window, I need fresh air.”
What this really means is that she wants me to open the window so that she can sneak over and drop her toys out of it. Besides, something about a toddler asking for fresh air sounds pretty pretentious if you ask me.
5. 2:45 am.
I need my sock fixed.
Whatever the heck that means. I just tugged at it a few times and declared “all done.”
6. 4:45 am.
Because her leg itches.
7. 4:55 am.
I need lotion.
… For her alleged itchy leg.
8. 5:15 am.
“I need a Band-Aid.”
For a phantom boo-boo.
9. Not sure what time it is anymore.
“One more pacifier.”
Because she dropped one out of her five unnecessary pacifiers that she holds onto in addition to the one that is already in her mouth.
10. Hello, the sun is starting to come up.
And she’s here just to tell me that her sister is sleeping.
11. Wait, is it yesterday, or today?
Oh, she’s here now to take inventory of my face.
“Mommy’s nose. Mommy’s eyes.” yes, darling, now go to BED.
12. OMG. In 60 minutes my alarm is going to go off.
And … she needs milk.
Which always switches to juice — a drink she knows she can’t have at night. But she fakes me out with milk until we get to the fridge. Duped!
13. 6:00 am. I think?
“I can’t want to brush my teeth.” Okay, whatever.
14. 6:01? Could that be right?
Please turn the TV on.
No, no and no.
15. Snooze button #1.
Since I won’t turn on the TV, she asks for “Dance music.”
16. Snooze button #2.
To help her find scissors. Uuuuuuhhhhhmmmmm, no.
17. Time to wake up!
And she is here again.
OK. Snuggle. How can I say no to that? Even after that night, I love to snuggle.
Time to start a new day. Good morning, sweetie.