This year for Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a bouquet of flowers.
As I sat admiring the fresh petals on our counter, my husband waltzed in, his whistle dying on his lips. “What the heck?” he said, his face registering confusion. “I thought you said you hated flowers? That they were a waste of money?”
OK, a few things:
- I never, ever said that (and I’m pretty sure it was actually his mother who said that, so color me creeped out.)
- Even if I had, like many women before me, WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN IT.
Honestly, I’ve always prided myself on being the type of wife who wasn’t a stereotypical, silently brooding one. You know, the kind that says “I’m fine,” when she’s obviously not fine? I don’t believe in dropping hints or sighing mightily and hoping he picks up on my not-so-subtle cues.
If I need something, I ask for it. If I want to talk, I give him a heads up. If something’s bothering me, I’ll tell him. If he doesn’t listen and I really want something done, I’ll do it myself. It’s not rocket science and I don’t have time to play games.
But it would appear that somewhere along the way, my wifely good intentions still may have gotten miscommunicated. So just so we’re all clear here, I’ve compiled a handy list for all husbands everywhere of all of the things that women will always, always want, no guessing necessary:
If you ever find yourself pondering the question, “I wonder if my wife would like a guilt-free, no-strings-attached massage tonight?” the answer is yes. Always yes.
2. Hanging back during your wrestling match with the kids
There are some things I do really well as a parent and there are some thing my husband is just plain better at than me. And one of those things just happens to be those physical wrestling, tickling, make-them-laugh-until-they-cry matches with our kids. I am always more than happy to be the one hanging back, soaking in all those adorable moments of watching the man I love love on the kids we made together. It’s hands-down, one of my favorite moments in life, actually.
3. A date night we don’t have to plan
If date night isn’t happening as often as you’d both like, I can pretty much guarantee that it’s because the logistics of finding an available babysitter, booking said babysitter, organizing a night that works for everyone’s schedules, trying to come up with a “creative” date night then giving up and making a dinner reservation, mentally planning an outfit that won’t make you look six months pregnant when you’re not, and then hoping you have time to shave your legs or maybe pluck your eyebrows too is just all too much for your wife on any regular basis. So if you ever felt like taking the reigns and doing all of the above (minus maybe shaving your legs — although to each his own), that would be great.
4. A dinner we don’t have to cook
I don’t care if you are horrible at it or cook every night anyways, it truly never, ever gets old.
5. Biceps and babies
Sorry, but there’s just something about a man holding his baby that is pretty much the sexiest thing ever and if you want to make us swoon, those are pretty much the basics. Be still my ovaries.
6. Fresh flowers
Maybe she said she didn’t want them or maybe you just got confused, but when it comes to purchasing, delivering, or even picking your own fresh flowers, the answer is always the same: YES.
7. A true partner
A man who is a true, committed partner is a man who will forever be #1 in his woman’s eyes. True partnership isn’t necessarily about being equal in every single way on the work or home fronts or even about splitting chores 50/50. True partnership is about knowing, with full confidence, that you are one part of a committed and fulfilled duo. And that’s truly a beautiful thing that can just never, ever get old.
But that should go without saying, right?
That’s what I thought.