There’s a mean girl in just about every school, clique, band, soccer team, religious education class, or carpool. This type of bullying is scary for parents, because we often worry that our sweet daughter is the subject of such relational aggression, but what if the tables are turned and your child is actually the mean girl? Would you be able to tell? Check out these telltale signs that your daughter may be taking her pack-leader status to straight-up tyranny.
1 She Is Overly Bossy or Controlling
Bossiness comes with the territory of being a kid sometimes, but there is a line, and if she crosses it time and time again, then she may be doing the same with her pals.
2 She Is Always Forming Clubs (and Excluding Others From Them)
Does she have a club for everything? Girls-who-wear-skirts club? Girls-who-hate-so-and-so-girl club? If so, she might be forming cliques and excluding others by not letting them join her “club.”
3 Makes a Lot of Threats
If you ever overhear you daughter threaten another girl with, for instance, “If you don’t do this, I’m going to tell my family,” then that’s a good sign that she’s up to no good. Talk to her about how making threats, even innocent ones, can be damaging to others.
4 Tells or Keeps a Lot of Secrets
Girls like to tell secrets — it’s just part of their DNA. But if your child is constantly telling and keeping secrets (and she won’t share them with you), then chances are she’s doing it with other girls, too.
5 She Uses the Phrase “Just Joking” After Being Mean
If your child likes to say rude or degrading things to other girls, but then follows up with “just joking,” then she’s probably not being very nice. She might think that she’s covered her tushy, so it’s probably time to explain to her that just because she said that, that doesn’t make it OK.
6 She Is Physically Aggressive
Some girls are a little more physical than others, but if your daughter is being physically aggressive with other girls (or boys), then she’s probably needs to be confronted and disciplined. Slapping, cornering, hitting, or anything else physical are used by some girls to show authority over others, and should not be tolerated.
7 She Always Talks About Popularity
Is she obsessed with being popular or having a lot of friends? Does she always need to have a best friend, with whom she might be changing daily? Red flag!
8 Her Friends Are Mean Girls
Mean girls can be attracted to other mean girls and who she hangs out with might be indicative of how she acts when you’re not around.
9 She Doesn’t Respect Authority
Mean girls often feel that they are top dog, and that’s even when adults are present.