As all toddler moms know, our little tots often have “super powers” which can put us in situations that range from adorable, to hilarious, to downright awkward. My little girl’s super powers include the following, counting down from the inevitable to the very special that I can’t help but love:
10. Sensing when someone is having a snack without her.
This usually happens right after we put our daughter to bed. My husband and I look at each other (one of us having sat down to a delicious plate of hummus with veggies and pita bread, and the other flipping through our DVR to choose a show we’ve missed), and we play a silent yet elaborate game of baby bedtime roulette.
Who will have to give up their downtime to deal with this? Should we ignore it? She’s getting loud — what will the neighbors think if we keep ignoring it? Maybe she just needs a quick hug? Honestly, it is most likely that she has used her super powers to sense our delicious snack … and she wants in on it.
9. Knowing the most embarrassing time to throw an all-out tantrum.
For example, when we were visiting my mom in the town where I grew up. My daughter chose a little gift shop in my hometown as her prime tantrum time. She really, really wanted some prunes that we had left at grandma’s house. Of all things — prunes. So here she is red-faced, snotty, and screaming for prunes —throwing rejected goldfish crackers everywhere In the checkout line — as I quickly (with an apologetic look on my face) pay the cashier.
Who walks in but, of course, a high school boyfriend who I haven’t seen in 10 years. I wouldn’t care, except who doesn’t want to look reasonably sane when running into their high school boyfriend? But here I am juggling my wallet/stroller/dirty Piglet stuffed animal, ambiguous purple stains on my shirt from the earlier prune-fest, and trying to explain to my daughter why prunes are not an emergency (she is not a constipated senior citizen, after all). Less than ideal.
8. Incredible feats of leaping onto tables and shelves.
I am amazed every day by the heights my toddler can reach with her climbing. One second she will be flipping through the pages of “Goodnight Moon,” and the next minute she is suddenly on our 5 foot high mantle performing a scene fromFrozen (she is Anna and she yells “jump Sven!” as she throws everything off the surrounding shelves).
7. Tearing apart an entire clean house in less than 10 minutes.
This one is self-explanatory, and I bet every toddler mom can relate.
6. Very sensitive crayon or marker detector skills.
For example, my daughter and I had a playdate planned at the library at 10 A.M. At 9:45, I ran upstairs to throw on a pair of jeans and grab my purse. I was up there for less than two minutes. Somehow, she had located a red marker, colored an entire wall and painted her face. The marker came right off the wall, but not her face. We went to the library anyway, and boy did I get some fun comments!
5. Ability to start a dance party at any time.
My toddler has the ability to draw her friends, relatives and complete strangers into a dance party. If a good song comes on while shopping, there is just no stopping her!
4. Knowing the prime time to declare a “poopie.”
This usually happens at a restaurant. She usually orders milk or apple juice, and then tells the server about her impending poopie. (I mentally rate servers based on their reactions!)
3. Sensing a hidden vegetable.
Don’t. Even. Try. It. She will know. I may think that I’m so sly, armed with a million Pinterest ideas and some fresh zucchini, but she will know. If the recipe happens to include a vegetable that she is currently favoring, she declares the food “delicious!” If it’s a vegetable like celery, which has been in her personal doghouse for about a month, I can forget about it. That muffin might as well be in the trash, as she is not touching it.
2. Dressing herself to look quite stylish.
Maybe it’s because I don’t know that much about fashion myself, or maybe it’s because it’s just downright funny, but sometimes I let my toddler go into her drawers and dress herself. She has an amazing way of pulling together cowboy boots, a tutu, leggings and a random print t-shirt and making it look like it belongs on the cover of some trendy kid’s magazine. She really rocks these looks with extreme confidence.
1. Knowing right when Mommy needs a hug.
This is my favorite of all her super powers.