These are 10 of the things I wish friends understood about what it’s like to adopt children.
1. The right vocabulary to use
Just to get this straight from the start. I am my children’s real mum. The people whose genes they share are their birth family. Clear? Good. Because making up bedtime stories, mending grazed knees and remembering which one hates tomatoes make me just as much a real parent as anyone else.
“Oh, and please drop the ‘adopted’ when introducing us to others. They’re our children. Full stop.”
2. Our parenting style will almost certainly be different
Yes, I know you’d put yours in a time out on the naughty step and withhold a sticker from her chart. But if my daughter has misbehaved as a consequence of believing she’s had so many sets of parent figures in her short life because she’s inherently unlovable, making her feel bad isn’t going to help me change her mind. If you disagree, either keep quiet or ask me to lend you a book on it. Read more