I can’t put my finger on it. Whether it’s the stifling heat, or the fact that my third kid is now a walking toddler (who is everywhere), or maybe just the restlessness of all the children combined, this summer has felt harder than summers of the past. My to-do list is a fucking mile long and I really couldn’t care less. I’ve just been putting everything off and spending time reading. Read more
Shame is a lurking shadow — a constant companion — and it can steal more from you than you’d imagine.
The problem for those of us who are mothers, however, is that we are failing to acknowledge shame where it exists. Oh, we talk a lot about mommy guilt. We feel bad about missing soccer practice or giving up on breastfeeding or feeding our kids non-organic bananas. But when we express our mommy guilt over our day-to-day failures, I believe we are trying to express much, much more. Read more
When I was pregnant, there were plenty of things I made sure to do before the baby arrived, whether it was going on a date night or sleeping past 10 a.m. (Though, warning: sleeping past 7 a.m. will soon feel gluttonous.) But one thing I didn’t do enough of was leave. Just leave.
If you are pregnant and reading this, just stand up and walk out your front door. Right now. Just walk through that door, and close it behind you. Bring a wallet, or not. Take or leave your cell phone, I don’t care. Just leave and don’t come back for, say, 20 minutes. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Read more
There are days when everything goes smoothly. There are no meltdowns. No tears. No injuries. No losses of your own temper or muffled expletives. The littles nap according to a miraculously orchestrated clock. It’s pretty blissful and may be just as rare. When my friend visited last week with her two girls we actually had several days like that. We went to coffee, explored snowy parks, experienced the zoo (it was very Alaskan) and thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s company. The girls played together beautifully and napped simultaneously. It was lovely and bewildering and heartwarming. At one point, the topic came up of how we didn’t have to “work hard” because none of the aforementioned altercations occurred. We wondered if Nate would think we did anything all day. Read more