Have you ever wondered what would be in your toddler’s backpack? Probably not, because you, unlike me, didn’t fall asleep after reading Us Weekly and obsessively checking the baby monitor last night, and have very weird dreams that your baby was a debutante.
Well, either way, I checked her backpack, and tell me if these don’t sound about right for you…
That handprint craft you made with Mommy at the library
Because sometimes you need to whip something out that can instantly melt a heart from 25 feet away.
Is it a food? Is it a drink? Is it ambrosia of the gods? Yes to all.
For when you need something that can be used for reading and for throwing at Mommy when she tries to walk into a grown-up store at the mall.
Because it’s 4 PM somewhere. No it’s milk. Really.
Not to blow my nose or anything. But just to ask for and throw on the floor. Of the car. After it’s been washed.
One time, Mommy saw this on some celebrity baby in a magazine and now you have your first piece of jewelry. Not complaining.
Sophie la Girafe Teether
Every toddler who’s any toddler has this one. It’s French, if you didn’t know.
Obviously. 75 Band-aids that you want to wear all at once, covering your entire body. Dora, NOT beige. Neutrals are out.
This is ostensibly for you, so why does Mommy always eat it, muttering, “No time for lunch, no time for ANYTHING …”
Potty training is so last year. Or next year. Not this year though.