It’s been one of those days.
Crying children. Crumbs and a sticky mess everywhere you step. Running on maybe four hours of sleep. Feels like you’ve done nothing but yell “no!” and “stop!” all day long, and your patience exited the door approximately 30 minutes after you woke up an hour too early. Your hair hasn’t seen shampoo (or a brush, for that matter) in days. And forget about even bothering to get dressed in “normal” clothes.
I feel ya, sister. You’re down and out, grasping for a life raft, and have convinced yourself you are certifiably nuts.
But you know what? You’re a dang good mother!
In the last few days on various social media platforms and in real life, I’ve noticed several fellow moms, whom I admire, struggling with the pressures of motherhood. Feeling anxiety and insecurities if they are doing it all wrong, or right, or just not having a freaking clue. (I usually fall into that last category.)
Parenthood is a total crapshoot. There aren’t any official right or wrong answers because we are all different human beings trying desperately to raise other tiny human beings with their own set of characteristics and needs, in hopes they are learning to be kind and good people. When you put all of that pushing and pulling together, it is a beautiful and insanely complex notion. It makes sense why motherhood is astonishingly emotional.
I just want to tell you that you are doing a terrific job at being a mom. “Mother” is a verb in my opinion, because it requires action on all fronts, and you rise to that occasion every single day. The fact that you worry so much is the best indicator that you’re dominating this mothering job. It’s a terrific sign that you are consistently looking for ways you can increase the quality of your child’s life. And instead of selfishly thinking about yourself, you’re focusing your energy on how you can get past this hurdle of insecurity to be a happy, positive influence in their life.
Life is a series of leveling up. Each roadblock I’ve slammed into always emerges into something incredible after the dust settles. And then there is a brand-new path for me to travel along and enjoy the beautiful journey, until that one no longer suits my life’s course and I run into another roadblock. And so the cycle continues, always leading to grander horizons.
So what if you don’t have it all figured out, and you’ve all been eating cereal for dinner for the last three nights? I am willing to bet your kids love the guts out of you either way. You’re giving it your best each and every day, and that is all you can do. Stop beating yourself up and comparing yourself to the other mothers out there. Because the truth is, we are all fighting similar battles. Of course each battle comes in various packages with a specific set of needs and issues, but the point is we all struggle. We all feel the frustrations, cry the tears, and experience the growing pains because we are ultimately all part of the same existence.
As the enchanting Rumi said, “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
See? You are full of spirit and life and purpose — this calling of motherhood was made for you, and you made it come alive. It is the most divine mission in all of life, even though the grit and grime of everything it involves often makes you feel small, alone, and probably a bit (or a lot) crazy.
Now, go shut yourself in the bathroom for two minutes and have a good cry or a fantastically satisfying scream. Then, go look at yourself in the mirror and smile until you laugh. And before you turn to walk out the door, confidently tell yourself, “I am a DANG good mother!”
(You’re actually a damn good mother, but, you know, babies . . . EVERYWHERE. Earmuffs!)